Diet Pills

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Posted by Willy ( on May 27, 2004 at 03:32:59:

In Reply to: Email address of Irkutsk Police posted by Bill Holland on August 09, 2003 at 10:56:16:


A little bit off subject, sort of, maybe. But is anyone else fed up to their back teeth, like I am of all the pill site adverts everywhere?

I have tried complaining to the pharmacies themselves, but it doesn't make any difference. So instead I decided to lighten my frustrations by writing an ode (of sorts)!

One day in the enlightened kingdom known as the USA, came an online pharmacy selling to obesity sufferers and other poor souls alike.

Verily did this doctor come peddler try to convince people who were slightly overweight, that they needed Adipex, Ionamin or Phentermine. Yet all their calls did were to attract disdain.

Whereupon the vendor of RX and such continue to flaunt their slimming pills such as Bontril, Meridia or Xenical with much ignored aplomb.

Desperate to sell their potions and cures, they attracted yet more scorn when they fruitlessly offered sales of Didrex, Phendimetrazine and Tenuate weight loss medications too.

Trying a different tack, the pill pusher nursed his male secret weapons, of Propecia, Viagra and Zyban. In the vain hope that a poor chap with no hair, a problem with smoking and a hapless love life would pass.

That failing miserably, he change his medications sales pitch to women with Renova, Retin-a and Vaniqa. But blow, in the perfect Kingdom of the USA there were no hairy upper lipped women with acne and wrinkles.

Fearing his wife back home and no groats in his pocket, he resorted to pills that cure pain, such as Celebrex, Ultram and Vioxx. But neigh, the USA was perfect and had no need for these.

Despondent and carefully eying the bridge with a view to jumping off, a local asked the pseudo pharmacist if he had any Paxil, Prozac or Zoloft, the vendor replied "aye"!. Whereupon the whole kingdom said "Then why didn't you say so? That is what we always run out of in the USA with George W Bush!"

I thank you. Ban prescription pills OK, but try banning Mr. Bush first!

Willy Clinton

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